Any questions?  Leave a comment and I'll leave you a response!

[!private "One Week Trial"]

21 Comments

  • Tom

    Reply Reply April 27, 2017

    Hey Charlie,

    So there is the funny story or there is the tragic story, but what about stories that are full of passion which you want to share because you are trying to get others interested in the subject matter?

    How would you approach those?

    • Charlie

      Reply Reply April 29, 2017

      The same guidelines of making an emotional journey apply. And generally speaking, you want your story to take them from their current starting place to a place they’d like to go

      Say for instance you want them to follow your shoes and join a course that teaches them to start their own business. You might start talking about your skepticism and trepidation (their current state) and work your way towards the excitement of making your first sale (a feeling they want). If you can include an obstacle and mystery (will you overcome that obstacle?) in the middle to maintain tension, you’ll have a story that keeps people hooked and gets them amped on a certain action

  • AnnKatrin

    Reply Reply March 5, 2017

    Hi Charlie!

    Quick question: Which video was it where you showed an example of repeating oneself before actually getting to the story? It was about getting attention first before starting to tell the story. Cant find it anymore :/

    Thanks!

    Anka

  • Georgios Stepanof

    Reply Reply March 1, 2017

    So Charlie, what is the secret when you are talking and someone wants to say his thing and interrupts you in the middle of your story? What would it be the best to do for this kind of people, so you can continue WITH his and everybody else’s attention? THANK YOU SO MUCH MAN

    • Charlie

      Reply Reply March 2, 2017

      It depends on the interruption. Is he telling it with you? Trying to tell his own story? Asking a question?

      With interruptions, usually you first want to finish your sentence. IF you keep talking as he does, many people will just stop speaking before you hit the end of your sentence. You can come back to him after and ask what he was saying. Problem solved 🙂

      If he asks a question, you can answer and quickly get back on track. If he has a question about the punchline of the story, tell him you’ll get to it soon 😉

      If he takes things off track in an incredibly forceful way, I will sometimes just let it happen. Oftentimes, if you were telling an engaging story, people will quickly ask you to finish your story. When that happens, it is awesome because they are super bought in. If not, that’s good feedback that the story you were telling wasn’t hooking people. That usually means that you need to create more tension in your stories earlier on and is a great piece of constructive criticism

      • Georgios Stepanof

        Reply Reply March 6, 2017

        wow man you are sooo right. thank you

  • Jacqueline

    Reply Reply October 14, 2016

    Oh I guess it doesn’t matter now, I didn’t see your reply at first lol.

  • Jacqueline

    Reply Reply October 14, 2016

    So I guess it logged me out when I submitted that, but the previous comment labeled anonymous is mine.

  • Anonymous

    Reply Reply October 13, 2016

    Hi Charlie. If during the last day’s exercise a story that happened to someone else comes to mind, is it just as good to use that or is it better to use something that happened to yourself? Thanks.

    • Charlie

      Reply Reply October 14, 2016

      That works too – I know plenty of great storytellers who rely on stories from other people 🙂

  • Marie Hahn

    Reply Reply September 19, 2016

    I thought I was a good story teller but I realize now that I mainly tell summaries. Thanks for a great lesson on how to turn life experiences into stories that capture the attention.

    • Charlie

      Reply Reply September 21, 2016

      Ha, I am guilty of that myself!

  • Thomas Bock

    Reply Reply December 29, 2015

    Hey Charlie,

    a question regarding “Action Thursday”: I am not completely sure how to do this exercise. For example for “Computer”, should I just pause and then go on with “Reminds me of XY which reminds me of YZ” etc. until a story pops into my head?

    Also, what if someone’s talking about tennis and you play the “reminds me of” game in your head and arrive at a story about your first girlfriend, wouldn’t it come across as self-centered and try-hard if you take a very remotely connected topic and start a story about it? I can see the benefit of this exercise to not run out of things to say but it’s not so clear to me how it helps with seamlessly integrating stories into conversation.

    Thanks!

    • Charlie

      Reply Reply December 29, 2015

      Yeah so you might just go Computer > Mouse > Electronics > Electronic Arts > NFL Blitz > story about the Eagles losing horrendously last night.

      That’s how the exercise works. You go to as many times as it takes to get a story, just to build flexibility of thinking. But in real life, you’re only going to go 2-4 connections at most. One, you just won’t have enough time. And two, like you said, it would be random to start with computer and end with last night’s Eagles game.

      But in those cases where you go Tennis > Spots > Funny thing that happened at my girlfriend’s basketball game, that’s perfect. You might just chime in, “Oh my god, this is totally random, but that just reminded me of this thing that happened at my girlfriend’s basketball game…” Keep in mind, you won’t have to actually play this game in real time. It’s more of a “weight training” exercise that increases the ease with which you’ll make those connections passively in conversation. Make sense?

      • Thomas Bock

        Reply Reply December 29, 2015

        Totally – thank you! 🙂

  • Thomas Bock

    Reply Reply December 6, 2015

    Heyho Charlie,

    I’m having a little problem completing the action days here: I find it hard to think of stories to tell. Where and how do you find experiences in your life that have the potential to be used in riveting stories? And do you even need to always think of such experiences, seeing as you can even use something very unspectacular and still turn it into a great story (–> Russell Brand example)?

    • Charlie

      Reply Reply December 6, 2015

      I would start with your every day experiences. Don’t worry at the beginning about going back over your lifetime and converting the big events into good stories. Take the fairly normal things that happen every day and when catching up with friends, use that opportunity to tell the story of “the weird guy at the store” or “how the cop almost pulled me over.” When you can make those hook attention, you’ll have an infinite number of stories to tell 🙂

  • Christian Brugger

    Reply Reply May 29, 2015

    > Share experiences because you want people to know about you,
    > because you want to know about them, because you want to connect.
    > Not because you want to brand yourself a certain way in their mind.

    This resonated deeply within me. Especially the “I want people to know about me” part. I am not living that very often, to be fully honest here, I often try to hide aspects of myself. Now I want to grow that expressive part in me, that is who I deeply want to be.

    Yeah self-esteem sounds like the right place to work on, to me. Based on what Nathaniel Brandon writes I think it has most to do with: lack of “self-acceptance” and “self-assertiveness”. I can also see how these are connected of me being arrogant and not expressing myself. I will start to practice them based on the sentence completion exercises he is giving.

    • Self-acceptance to me means —
    • If I am willing to be realistic about my assets and shortcomings —
    • If I am more accepting my fears —
    • When I deny and disown my fears —
    • If I am more accepting my excitement —
    • When I deny and disown my excitement —

    • Self-assertiveness to me means —
    • If I brought more awareness to my deepest needs and wants —
    • When I remain silent about what I want —
    • If I am willing to let people hear the music inside me —
    • If I am to express 5 percent more of myself today —

    PS: also thanks for clearing up my confusion about sharing enthusiastically, I think this was something that held me back. I believed by making thinks sound more awesome people will perceive it as showing off.

  • Christian Brugger

    Reply Reply May 29, 2015

    I asked my college at work how he perceives me, what thoughts come up and what he feels after our interactions, I asked him to be honest. He told me that sometimes he perceives me as arrogant and this drives him away from me, basically killing connection. I reflected that with my girlfriend and we noticed a pattern here.

    I think, whenever people ask me how something was, I tend to sound arrogant. May it be my day at work, my weekend, my evening, my holiday, my business trip. I also don’t feel absolutely authentic in such moments, unsure, I notice I am looking for feedback, approval, etc.

    Q: Are there any rules that I can follow, so that draw people in, without making them perceive me as arrogant, showing off.

    Background: There was a time in my life where I defined myself based on my achievements, and where I constantly had to prove my worthiness to myself and others by being better than other people. Having more fun, being more interesting, better friends, better projects, getting better scores in tests, knowing more, understanding things more quickly, deeper, etc. While I worked a lot on that and massively reduces this urge, this might still be an area that is driven by this behavior.

    I currently see several problems in the way I share:
    – intention: I share to impress
    – I draw one-sided pictures, making them look better than they are, using superlatives –> want to focus more on facts and feelings, any other ideas? BTW: In chapter “first impressions” you said we should answer to the question how are you in superlatives like fantastic, stellar. I am asking myself, weather it is really about the superlatives or something deeper, like my intentions.
    – making comparisons, talking about bigger pictures, saying that this is something only a few people do –> stop doing that, no comparisons any more, however sometimes they help to draw people in, to explain what it means to me.
    – perception: I sometimes see myself as more awesome, better, more experienced than others –> see the value in other people, see us as equal. Get into value giving mindset.
    – Sometimes other people do it for me, like saying: Wow you are so good, get so much money, so lucky that you can travel. Here I often don’t know how to react and feel very inauthentic. In school my strategy was to talk things small, but this is also not authentic to me any more –> Want to find a strategy here, without putting me down.

    It seems to all drive down to my intention:

    Q: What would be a charismatic intention to share experiences? What should be the point of sharing, that lets other people connect?

    There is only one strategy I know which works so far: When I share stories, where I don’t know how people will react, stores that might make me look stupid and bad. Vulnerability being the keyword here. While these stories are often the best, like your first kiss example, it feels restrictive to me. How can I share what happened in my weekend, when I am absolutely enthusiastic about it and absolutely loved the experience?

    • Charlie

      Reply Reply May 29, 2015

      Great question. Tough to diagnose without seeing you, but based on your description, I think I have an idea…

      The best answer I can give is to work on the self esteem exercises in the confidence module. It sounds like what is going on here is that you are trying to be impressive. You are overly concerned with other people perceiving you in a way you’d like to be perceived.

      So when you tell a story, it is not just to share an experience or a laugh or something about yourself, but to get the reaction you want. Maybe it’s the other person thinking “Wow, Christian is so smart/cool/whatever.” And that comes through in everything you do: word choice, eye contact, tonality. Like you said, you need to focus on the intention. Those exercises in module 2 will help.

      Now this is going to come through in a number of different ways. Believe it or not, you will probably talk about your successes more enthusiastically. Part of being arrogant is that people talk about their successes as if they were no big deal. They want other people to think they accomplish everything easily and that it hardly even excites them. On the contrary, true confidence just wants to share how they feel when something good happens. So they might excitedly say “Guess what!? I got an A!” rather than “Oh yeah, that test last week. I got a 100%. No big deal.”

      Share experiences because you want people to know about you, because you want to know about them, because you want to connect. Not because you want to brand yourself a certain way in their mind.

* Denotes Required Field

[/!private]
[wlm_private "One Week Trial"]
[/wlm_private]
[wlm_private "One Week Trial"] [/wlm_private]
[wlm_private "One Week Trial"]

Or if you’d like to cancel, just email charlie@charismaoncommand.com
with “Cancel Trial” in the subject line and I’ll take care of it for you

[/wlm_private]