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  • Erik Starn

    Reply Reply May 18, 2017

    Just completed the “Identifying Needs” worksheet. My top Needs are: Connection/Love (9.33), Contribution (9), and Certainty (7). In my case, I say Connection and Contribution are so linked together that they are almost the same. I encounter an issue though with Certainty. Before I delve into the “issue”, I’d like to point out that I did not expect these to be my needs. When I speak about my needs and desires, I extoll the value of Uncertainty, Self-Growth, and Variety. An honest assessment yields the aforementioned results. I’m completely fine with that. I think Connection/Love and Contribution are admirable needs, it’s really eye-opening to realize that these are my true drivers. Like when I don’t feel like going to class or some event, it’s a desire to connect and contribute that gets me out of bed. For example, there’s a philosophy class I was taking this semester (I just graduated, hence “was taking”) and it had no effect on my qualification to graduate. So I was unmotivated to do the work. And I toyed with the thought of skipping class. However, I did not skip class because I thought: “If I skip class, I miss an opportunity to make this an interesting conversation and to share my viewpoint. It will make the professor happier and enrich the overall experience.” At a fundamental level, the Need is connection/contribution, rather than self-improvement or significance. Cool shit.

    Here’s the issue I run into. Certainty. I do not like Certainty. Rather, I do not like that it is one of my paramount needs. There’s nothing fundamentally wrong with Certainty. However, in my case, I feel like it stifles the fullest expression of my need to Connect/Contribute. I know that needs change, but I feel like Certainty has been a pervasive force my entire life. An excess of Certainty has left me unfulfilled in some areas of my life, especially those that involved perceived risk (i.e., competing or performing, social interactions). It’s bad. That’s part of why I’m taking this course, because Certainty has constricted my growth. And it’s interesting because Certainty probably inspired my decision to improve my charisma via a crafted program because it’s less daunting than tackling social growth sans guidance. (Obviously, other needs can lead one to make the same decision, though the decision-making process will be different.)

    Anyways. How can I lead myself? How do I move towards Uncertainty? What can I do to push away Certainty so that my needs to Connect and Contribute flourish?

    p.s., Thank you for taking the time to offer such thoughtful answers to my questions about a month ago. I’m the guy who had that school project on entrepreneurship. You went above and beyond the call of duty.

    • Erik Starn

      Reply Reply May 18, 2017

      Also, an idea for future improvement on this module:

      Can you provide a concrete example for each individual need and how to shift behavior? This would be very useful for effectively completing the Action for Wednesday (day three). And it’d be great to view coaching sessions where you implement these tactics. The charisma breakdowns are great and so are your videos, they’re so incredibly useful. I think your students would get even more knowledge and value if they could see you work through these needs/charisma skills with other students. I think the other modules would benefit from that as well. I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this and on my above comment. Thanks in advance!

      • Charlie

        Reply Reply May 22, 2017

        Great idea! Want to do more on this for sure. I will keep this in mind as I build out more on the belief changing course!

    • Charlie

      Reply Reply May 22, 2017

      Great question Erik! I think you’re right – valuing certainty can certainly limit your life. I haven’t found a blanket way to change driving needs (still working on it!) but I have found a process that works for specific beliefs and situations. I’m actually releasing a video on the channel about it tomorrow, but here’s the short of it:

      You need to associate pain to not changing and pleasure to changing. So if you’re concerned with social certainty, think of all the ways that need is costing you (limiting your exposure to new people, making you act cowardly, not living up to your full potential). Write down as many as possible and really make it hurt. Focus on the ones that hurt the most.

      Then write down all the pleasure you’ll get from adopting a more uncertain approach. Or rather, from getting certainty in a different way – for instance, maybe you get certainty from trusting in your own spontaneous problem solving abilities. So you think about how you’ll become a more capable person, how you’ll be able to handle more situations without struggling, how you’ll meet more friends. Write it all down.

      Then all you have to do is review the top pain and pleasure reasons to get them well-associated. This will shift what you move towards naturally. I’m going to be doing much more on this since it’s a big topic, but that’s it at a high level 🙂

  • Sam Parr

    Reply Reply December 2, 2016

    I liked the leadership one, which is why I’m here. I think this part: Order: Go through the needs, look for how you can should them that they’re holding back, break the pattern, and then tie it up in a bow and explain the issue, is pretty useful. However, I want more.

    I want to know how to influence my coworkers and make them believe in me and my mission, not just make sure they’re hapy.

    • Charlie

      Reply Reply December 4, 2016

      So a combination of this module, confidence, and conversation is going to be helpful. Storytelling will be important as well.

      The big thing for making people believe is going to be speaking in values. I’ll give an example for CoC, which you can adapt to your story and circumstances.

      When people ask me what I do, I can say “I have a YouTube channel, I run a website, etc….” I say that when I am trying to get facts across. But when I want someone to be onboard, I’m going to share my values more.

      “I think that there is nothing in life more important than the relationships you have. When I think of the happiest, most fulfilling times in my life, it is always because of the people I was with. I used to be extremely shy which meant I didn’t have so many of those moments – and I think a lot of good people find themselves in the same boat. If I can help good people to connect with other good people, I feel like there is nothing more valuable I could be doing – plus it means I get to watch Game of Thrones clips all day ;-)”

      Check out the inception story from storytelling and the conversation module for more on bouncing between values and humor. combine this with conviction from the confidence module and you’ll be in great shape 🙂

  • Ha Nguyen

    Reply Reply September 22, 2016

    Hi Charlie, this is an amazing section. I hope you can put some of the stuff to help us develop after identifying our needs. For instance, mine is loving and being significance ( pretty much like your friend in Brazil in the example). Could you give me a little bit more advice Charlie? 🙂

    • Charlie

      Reply Reply September 23, 2016

      Interesting thought: what sorts of things would you like guidance with once you’ve identified those needs?

      • Ha Nguyen

        Reply Reply September 24, 2016

        Hi Charlie,

        I often feel insignificant due to my height (i’m only 5ft6 so I’m below the average), I’m getting it out of my head to not feel that way again but I havent found any absolutely way to do it. I can go and start a random conversation with strangers or talk to anyone I want, but sometimes I feel intimidated because they are taller than me.

        And I feel like I can be taller, I was 5ft3 when I was 17 and now at 20 I’m 5ft6, that stuff just keep me hoping one day I will be 6ft. 😀

        • Charlie

          Reply Reply September 24, 2016

          So separate from the inner game, I am going to be exploring some healthy stretching exercises that supposedly can add an inch of height to someone. Not sure if it’s real and it would take dedication, but I’ll let you know how it goes 🙂

          You want to use your needs to your advantage. So right now you feel insignificant because your height – maybe you’re shorter than someone you’re speaking to. But if you shift your focus, you can actually find a ton of significance in that role. like what if you were the most confident, outgoing person in any interaction, DESPITE your height? That would make you more special than someone who was born 6’2 and had an easier time of it. Try to find a way to change your focus in the situation to get your needs met (connection and significance) by doing the thing you may be resisting

          • Ha Nguyen

            September 25, 2016

            I started to go swimming and to the gym a lot when I decided to do something about my height; tried a lot of stretching too but didn’t really work for me, mostly swimming help me grow I think. But I’m looking forward to hearing from you about the stretching. 😀
            I also met some amazing people in the gym and tried cliff jumping after being introduced to, so some good things came out of the process. 🙂

            and yes, the mentality you just told me is the reason why I’m here to learn about charisma from the best- Charlie Houpert :). I will try visualise that I’m the most confident, outgoing person next time when I interact with someone.

            Moreover, I dont know what am I resisting, I just said whatever I want when I interact with people, do you have more specific advice on that?

          • Charlie

            September 26, 2016

            Yeah, I think it’s also good to realize that most people are feeling the same things you feel regardless of their height. They get nervous for tons of different reasons. Everyone has their mental barrier to overcome, so don’t feel like you’re the only one 🙂

            Also, I think perhaps giving yourself permission to say “dumb things” will let you feel more loose in interactions. So if you find yourself clamping up and not speaking, remove the filter (like in the Expert Conversation Module) and just let whatever is on your mind out.

          • Ha Nguyen

            September 25, 2016

            And there is one psychological thing I want to discuss with you since I think you’re heavily into it. There is one thing called the laws of attraction, it states you can do anything as long as you believe you can do it. Do you believe in it?

            I done some reading and came across 1 interesting theory :whenever we believe in something, the subconscious mind working on the back and drawing a map for us to accomplish that thing, which is so essential to the law of attraction. What do you think of this theory?

          • Charlie

            September 26, 2016

            So I think that focusing on your goals will definitely get better results for the reason you described (your subconscious mind is working on achieving that problem). I don’t believe in the “Law of Attraction” though, because the people who believe that claim that it is the “universe” manifesting special opportunities to people who focus on their goals. It has nothing to do with the universe and everything to do with your conscious and subconscious focus propelling you towards your aim. So it’s still good to focus on and visualize what we hope to achieve 🙂

          • Ha Nguyen

            September 27, 2016

            Thank you for sharing your point of view Charlie!

            I will try to apply all your mentalities in my head next time. Charisma on Command has been a fantastic invest for me, the theory about trigger and habits has helped to change my life so much. Thanks again Charlie.

  • Eliza

    Reply Reply August 8, 2016

    So, last weekend, I was playing the game “Never have I…” with my friends at a birthday party. The game quickly turned into a boys vs. girls race where each group posed “embarrassing/private/sexy questions” so the other group had to bend their fingers. It was really funny. There’s definitely some risk in being honest and bending your finger, since everyone was watching who has their finger bent (“who has done this embarrassing thing in life”)

    You mentioned Charisma is about social courage. So the courageous thing to do is to bend your finger while admitting loudly that “yes, I’ve done that.” But I don’t know what’s the benefit of admitting it loudly while bending my finger? I potential benefit I can think of is the humor one brings, but this I’m not even sure is true completely, if it’s funnier to hide or funnier to admit, because a lot of the humor in this game comes from people trying to hide. Yes, it’s a good chance to practice courage, and no, I don’t think those people will super judge me(maybe a bit). I don’t feel super comfortable to admit those things lol but at the same time, I also don’t feel super comfortable not being able to admit those things. I feel neutral in either way. So if you can give me a very convincing reason of why I should/shouldn’t admit those things loudly in games like this, that will help clarify my confusion

    I personally don’t think any of those questions posed are embarrassing, even though the society tells me that they are. So I can freely admit anything I really don’t find anything shameful, but I don’t know what’s the most CHARISMATIC thing to do? 🙂

    Thank you Charlie!

    • Charlie

      Reply Reply August 8, 2016

      So the humor question, you’re right, can go either way. But in terms of the mindset behind it, this is what I think is important: that you are not truly ashamed of anything you’ve done. That you are not ashamed to admit to anything that you’ve done. Because even if some of it is “wrong” (which I doubt it is) it is still part of your past. You don’t want to disown anything you’ve done. If it was truly morally bad (which again, I really doubt it was) you take ownership and commit to not doing again.

      For the things that are just sexual or silly, own it all proudly. You’re a consenting adult and can do whatever you like with another consenting adult. Of course, you can play up the bashful thing for the comedic effect. Just make sure that on the inside, you don’t feel that any of those things are “wrong.”

      Hope that helps clarify!

  • Anonymous

    Reply Reply July 31, 2016

    I love your content. One idea is : instead of talking about “pretty girl” or “most beautiful girl” in the talk, I like to hear about “the girl that catches your eyes” I think this is important distinguish because our society definitely focus a lot on looks, and many girls/women are trapped in this societal value. Less emphasis on looks in our society could be important for girls to have a healthier self esteem. 🙂 Also, as a female listener, I feel like I can connect with the content more if the story is not necessarily come from a male’s perspective on a girl’s look. 🙂

    • Charlie

      Reply Reply August 3, 2016

      Good idea – I like the phrase “attractive man/woman” because it can encompass whatever people are drawn to in that other person, be it personality, humor, looks, whatever 🙂

      • Eliza

        Reply Reply August 7, 2016

        Awwww that’s so sweet you said that. 🙂

  • Daniel Vekhter

    Reply Reply June 30, 2016

    Altruism is the motivation behind contribution, and can be cultivated

  • Daniel Vekhter

    Reply Reply June 30, 2016

    Charlie, I am reading Mathiew Ricard’s book “altruism” which has a short section in the middle about how to cultivate universal altruism — the motivation that others be freed from suffering.

  • Anonymous

    Reply Reply June 25, 2016

    I see adventure/certainty/significance as being potentially (but not necessarily) harmful needs and love/growth/contribution.as being virtuous.

    You mentioned that you are significance-driven but watch Zach Sobeich videos to remind yourself of contribution. So in a sense you are trying to change your primary needs. I think that spiritual practices have it as a goal to change one’s driving needs. To what extent do you think it is possible or advisable to seek to change one’s own primary needs?

    • Charlie

      Reply Reply June 26, 2016

      You’re totally right. I have been trying to remove my significance driver, but I’m not quite sure how. I do think that it can misaligned with sometimes which is why I want to change the order.

      The most recent YouTube video shares a bit in how I’ve started to do this. In terms of making an actionable guide to change out of significance and into love, it’s still very much a work in progress. But I do think traditionally spiritual elements (chanting, meditation, gratitude, etc) will come into play.

      So I do think it is advisable, but I am not sure yet exactly how. I will absolutely add a new module as soon as I figure it out!

  • Anonymous

    Reply Reply April 26, 2016

    Can I get the resources that you mentioned exist for this type of leadership please?

    • Charlie

      Reply Reply April 26, 2016

      I can’t send it out because it is not my product to give away, but I found Tony Robbins audio tapes extremely helpful. He has a ton on leadership, but 7 Steps to Lasting Change is my favorite and where I drew a lot of my understanding for this module\

      This is where he has it: https://store.tonyrobbins.com/products/creating-lasting-change

  • Willie Tsang

    Reply Reply May 5, 2015

    If your top 2 current needs are not aligned with your ideal top 2 needs,what are your recommendations to start changing them? I’d envision appealing to the 2 behaviors that currently work would have the most leverage but continue to reinforce the same behavior.

    • Charlie

      Reply Reply May 8, 2015

      Good question – a bit of a long answer but here goes…

      Step 1: You need to find something more powerful than the desire to meet those needs.

      So take me for instance. I can be very significance driven. Significance often leads to issues though because it is all about “me.” So what is more powerful than my desire to feel special? My desire to be the best version of myself (which admittedly, also appeals to significance). So if I can associate pain to being driven by significance by thinking about how it stops me from connecting with people as much as I could, by thinking about how it hurts people I care about, by thinking about what will matter when I look back at my life when I am 95 years old, I can form a strong emotional desire to change. If you’ve ever been moved by a song or a movie and wanted to really change your life, you know what that moment feels like. One video that sets my priorities straight is this one (it’s a tear jerker): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NjKgV65fpo

      Step 2: In that moment of emotional motion, create concrete habits and commit yourself to them with accountability

      So once you’ve gotten yourself pissed/upset/ready to change what drives you, you need to commit. Because the truth is, outside of that moment of emotional drive, we all slip back into comfortable habits. So you need to come up with something concrete that you can do right in that moment that will commit you to staying the new course in the future. So say you realize you overvalue certainty and it is hindering your relationships. You send a text to the person you need to open up to and you tell them you need to see them in the next few days to share something important. Or if you realize you overvalue the significance of your job and you decide you should value growth, you put in your two weeks notice and begin job searching. This actions should be DIFFICULT. It almost has to be, because it marks a huge shift from how you used to behave, to how you will behave in the future.

      Step 3: Is stay committed.

      You have to trust the decisions you make in those moments of clarity. Because very quickly, all of life’s other pressures will come back and push you into the same patterns you had been living. If you decide you need to be more open with the people you love, you need to create a daily task to say “I love you” (or deliver a compliment or something similar). And it might feel like work. In fact, it almost certainly will. But sticking with it will help you shift which needs drive you over the long term

      • Willie Tsang

        Reply Reply May 17, 2015

        Great stuff and definitely easier said than done. Will work on it. Thanks Charlie!

  • Courtney McKee

    Reply Reply March 1, 2015

    P.S. Am I not spotting the worksheet for this module? I thought Charlie mentioned there would be one around sorting out your primary needs…

    • Charlie

      Reply Reply March 3, 2015

      Thanks for the catch, Courtney – just uploaded the document!

  • Courtney McKee

    Reply Reply March 1, 2015

    Thanks for sharing this back and forth here Ben and Kalie. The breaking patterns thing is an interesting one. You’ve got to really know your audience I think because you can be walking a fine line with some people, especially when they have their grumpy pants on.

    I like Charlie’s account of how Tony matched aggression levels with a dissatisfied audience member. It reminded me of when I used to work as a receptionist for a city council.

    We had all sorts walk through the doors in all kinds of moods. The mindset shift – the first thing we learned in the First Impressions module – was something I seemed to have adopted instinctively in that setting. I’m not here to impress – I’m here to tune that person emotionally so the next person, engineer, town planner, etc, can impress, or at least get a word in edge-wise without getting their block knocked off.

    So when someone fronted up at the council counter in a rage, I’d agree with their right to rant and match my energy levels to theirs, gradually bringing them down over the course of the two to three minute conversation.

    Their pattern was broken because they came in expecting a fight and found instead a celebration of their spunk. Often people just want to be heard and to blow off some steam and once those two boxes are ticked the barriers are down and you can get to work.

    Weirdly, the people I felt closest to over the course of that job were the ones who I went on that type of mini rapid ride with. It’s like we brave the foibles of the human condition together. Generally speaking I’d say that conflict isn’t my thing. I’m actually pretty conflict averse – let’s all live in harmony and all that. But when you give yourself permission to play you can surprise yourself.

  • Ben Altman

    Reply Reply February 18, 2015

    So the first thing that I think is really important here is defining what your goal is.

    Is your goal to get them to smile and stop being a jerk? Or to come back for a second visit? It sounds weird, but there might be a different answer depending on your goal.

    Perhaps if they are always a cranky curmudgeon you don’t need to break their pattern to get them to come back, so if that’s your primary goal, then breaking their patter might push them away. BUT if your goal is to only work with people who treat you and your staff a certain way, and so your filtering your clientele, then it makes sense to try to break their pattern and determine if it’s them or just their emotional state.

    Regardless of what your staff says, always assume at first that “they are a major jerk” really means “they are in a bad state right now”. Is that 100% true all the time? No, but it’s a useful mental model to come in with.

    Then come in with big positive expressive energy and use the stuff you’ve learned here in terms of charisma, pattern interrupts, and human needs.

    In terms of your work, I assume they are seeing you because they have some sort of pain or discomfort. So if you can find out what they want, what their frustrations and aspirations are, and speak to them about that, that is another tool that may also help, in addition to everything else we’ve discussed.

    For instance, if an athlete comes in and is really concerned about being able to play his sport, and you can provide comfort around that, you can build rapport with him. If someone who doesn’t like sports comes in and just wants to live pain free, and you are talking about all the great sports activity they’ll be able to do once they’re pain free, that won’t connect with them and won’t build as much rapport.

    So in summary, take those 3-5 minutes to establish a positive energy coming from you (and let mirror neurons in them start to change their mood), break their pattern by asking random questions / using humor / sudden changes in conversation topic / etc. (while balancing this with not rubbing them the wrong way), give them their top human need (certainty, connection, significance, whatever it may be), and speak in their words and in terms that matter to them.

    It’ll take a few weeks of practice to nail it all perfectly, but practice it and over time you’ll see great results! 🙂

  • Kalie Judge

    Reply Reply February 18, 2015

    Awesome awesome awesome! I love all this! I love throwing people off their game. I am the one out of my group of friends that has the conversation with the bell hop or the taxi driver or the waitress and so on…That just changed probably 2-3 years ago because I wanted to be more out going so I figured I would practice with strangers 🙂

    Anyway,

    So some more insight… we have our staff on day 1 get the patients goals. and sort of really dive into what they mean… for example if they say “I want to travel” my staff is trained to sit down and dig deeper…. where, when, why! We are HUGE about finding peoples big why’s! And for most people it is easy to use that as ammo to get their why and get on their side for why they are here.

    You are right… so many people have had such sucky experiences with doctors! I have worked really hard at creating a completely different environment in this office to make sure they see it the second they walk it.

    So in the first part of my “day 1 consultation” with jerk face… I only have about 3-5 minutes to get them on my side, explain the nerve system and give them hope… I will see them again after my staff runs a few exams but this part is critical for the pattern to be broken! I guess to elaborate on what you are going after how can I do that quickly without having to go through so many layers…

    Steps I take before even meeting patient
    1. staff goes through paper work to make sure filled out correctly
    2. staff takes on tour of office to gain familiarity as well as a third party endorsement type thing, and to show them the other people that are roaming around in here
    3. staff goes in and does vitals and initial consult
    4. I get word from staff on demeanor and gauge how I need to be when I walk in the door

    Here in lies the problem!

    I think sometimes if I hear… “they are a major jerk” then I go in to defense mode like someone just messed with my little sister!

    How to I change defense mode into breaking pattern?

    And everything else I just said! lol

  • Ben Altman

    Reply Reply February 17, 2015

    Great question! Thanks for posting 🙂

    I think the best way to deal with this (short-term, in the moment) is with something called a “pattern interrupt”.

    The idea is basically this:

    As humans, we get into patterns. Sometimes this is a happy pattern – an example would be at a standup comedy show, as people get warmed up and used to laughing, they start to laugh more and more easily and louder and louder. They’re in the “laugh pattern” and so when something slightly funny occurs, they laugh.

    If you take one joke from that standup comedy set, and tell it to someone who just received the news that they’d be fired from their job, they might not laugh at all, because they are likely in the “pissed off / upset pattern”

    So in your case, you want to interrupt this pattern of “jerk face”. Some people are just huge jerk faces all the time, but others are good people that happen to not want to be there. Maybe something bad is happening in their life outside the office, maybe they had a bad experience with another doctor. Whatever it is, you want to break this pattern. It’s like the annoying friend or family member who keeps making you laugh while you’re trying to be mad.

    So the question then becomes, How? How do you interrupt someone’s pattern?

    You can break someone’s pattern with humor, with shock, with vulgarity, with anger.

    You can see an example of this in this video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wV6wkc3EDFc)

    I randomly picked it off YouTube, it just shows an example of someone’s pattern being interrupted everytime he tries to get sad about his problems. Obviously this would be suuuuper annoying if done this way in real life, but it highlights what I mean by “pattern interrupt”.

    This is the part that becomes more art then science, and may take some practice. It depends on the person. I have a friend who gets into a mopey, kind of victim mentality pattern of feeling badly for himself. It’s how he gets connection with himself. I used to try to be soft with him and gently explain why his life was good. I realized that didn’t work, so I went with the tough love tell him to buck up strategy, and that shook him up enough to make him receptive to what we were talking about.

    Other people won’t respond well to tough love, but they respond well to humor. Often if you can make them laugh, you can interrupt their pattern.

    Other people simply changing the topic and getting them talking about things they’re proud of will get them out of bad patterns and into a more friendly mode of interaction.

    So how do you tell who responds to what? Testing and trying different methods on the same person, and practice.

    The good news is, you can practice anywhere!

    Charlie and I often practice this at restaurants, super markets, coffee shops, etc. We work to use our friendliness to break out the servers or check out people from “work mode” to “happy mode”

    Then, combine this with the stuff in the Leadership module.

    Once the person’s pattern is interrupted, help them feel good on their biggest human needs.

    Find out what this person’s main needs appear to be by asking them some questions about their life as part of your first meeting, and then you can connect with them if they want connection, make them feel significant if they crave significance, or make them feel certain if they crave certainty.

    A long answer to a short question, but I wanted to make sure to really provide the solution. 🙂

    Does that all make sense?

    And by the way, I really respect your desire to master the art of doctor/patient relations. So many people ignore it and it’s such a crucial part of the healthcare experience. Hopefully more doctors start feeling the way you do!

  • Kalie Judge

    Reply Reply February 17, 2015

    Hey! So , I was talking with Ben a tiny bit about this through email and decided it would be best to post on here…. so i am just going to copy and paste what I said because I don’t have anything fancy to say otherwise 🙂

    I am a chiropractor…. I am attempting to master the art of charisma at the patient / doctor level… upon that first meeting in the what we call “day 1″ where we go through history, do exam, consultation, and potentially X-rays…. then continue to master once they sign up for care and become potentially life long patients here at the office. I know this may be vague but I have been including some of the things I’m learning on COC and its been helpful….. there are a few instances where the jerk face person comes in and really doesn’t want to be there… I want to be able to completely transform their experience in a few seconds to minutes right there on day 1!

    We could also include the patient that has been there over the years and hasn’t made any changes in their lifestyle and they are just gong through the motions in life…. how do i empower them to want to make the change with out coming off as a B*tch 🙂

    I am über confident in what I teach and the direction i show people to go! I live the way I teach so I’m not living incongruently and telling someone to do something that i have never done! So thats not the issue.

    Ok, GO! 🙂

    And thank you!

  • Kalie

    Reply Reply February 17, 2015

    Hey! So , I was talking with Ben a tiny bit about this through email and decided it would be best to post on here…. so i am just going to copy and paste what I said because I don’t have anything fancy to say otherwise 🙂

    I am a chiropractor…. I am attempting to master the art of charisma at the patient / doctor level… upon that first meeting in the what we call “day 1” where we go through history, do exam, consultation, and potentially X-rays…. then continue to master once they sign up for care and become potentially life long patients here at the office. I know this may be vague but I have been including some of the things I’m learning on COC and its been helpful….. there are a few instances where the jerk face person comes in and really doesn’t want to be there… I want to be able to completely transform their experience in a few seconds to minutes right there on day 1!

    We could also include the patient that has been there over the years and hasn’t made any changes in their lifestyle and they are just gong through the motions in life…. how do i empower them to want to make the change with out coming off as a B*tch 🙂

    I am über confident in what I teach and the direction i show people to go! I live the way I teach so I’m not living incongruently and telling someone to do something that i have never done! So thats not the issue.

    Ok, GO! 🙂

    And thank you!

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