Presence & Magnetism

This topic contains 6 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  Charlie 4 years, 1 month ago.

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  • #364

    Charlie
    Keymaster

    Presence & Magnetism goes here!

  • #481

    Ian
    Participant

    I found the presence and magnetism exercises pretty intuitive and easy, but I’d never been told some of these things – volume and not trailing off being the two notables.

    I speak loud. I’ve been told. But I decided to crank it up to 11 for Monday’s homework. At the regular lunch table in the cafeteria, where I normally speak loud, I made a point to talk louder than usual. Even though these are my friends and I have their attention, the louder volume made a noticeable difference in the attention I was given while speaking. Then did the same thing in an afternoon meeting – consciously spoke louder than normal. Again, noticeable difference, and more noticeable the second time where I historically don’t speak as loud as at the lunch table. So yeah, I like it.

    The most beneficial advice and accompanying homework this week was not trailing off. I trail off sentences. I’d simply never been told not to. It made sense. Immediately internalized it and felt proud for finishing my thought the next time I was interrupted at work.

    Good stuff.

    • #484

      Charlie
      Keymaster

      Good stuff Ian!

      The volume issue is a funny one, because I’d say that for every person who is “too loud” there are 19 people who are too quiet.

      Honestly when Charlie and I were first starting out, I made it a point to speak as loudly as I could. I had never realized how quietly I was speaking until then! When you project and speak loudly (which is different than simply shouting), suddenly jokes become funnier, questions you ask get answered, and statements you make get agreed with.

      It’s powerful stuff for sure. Awesome to hear you’re integrating it so purposefully into your day-to-day.

  • #490

    Okay so it’s been a little while I had about 12 days off for easter vacation here in Spain, but I’ve done all of the homework for magnetism and wanted to share what worked for me.

    Tying this stuff together is the most difficult part, personally. Trying to get all of these things churning is difficult to control consciously, but when I remember to SPEAK LOUDLY with a low cadence, all the rest seem to click. I don’t know if you guys are familiar with keystone habits, but if not I’ll try to summarize.

    Essentially, if you change one important habit, many other tend to follow, and what I noticed is that if I speak louder, I sort of accumulate more attention to myself, which cyclically leads to gesticulating more, finishing sentences, having good posture, etc. I also think that in a group situation, having a loud voice is is the easiest and most noticeable way to get attention, and the details, while they should be practiced, sort of come. At least, this is how it is for me.

    I promise to post more.

    • #491

      Charlie
      Keymaster

      Ian – really interesting! I’m curious if other people find that speaking loudly is a keystone habit as well…definitely something to explore. I think that one was the first I really focused on and I saw huge leaps from it, so it might be the case that I need to move it up the priority list!

      I have been working on a new, updated group interactions module. Which I’ll post in the next few days. I know the presence module already emphasizes volume, but I’m thinking it is worth having a day with that focus in the group module as well

  • #612

    Thomas Bock
    Participant

    How do you recommend handling eye contact and gesticulation when sitting (since you’re more restricted when it comes to gestures and oftentimes don’t face the other person(s) directly)?

    • #613

      Charlie
      Keymaster

      Sitting across and next to people both have the advantages and disadvantages. When you’re next to someone, you can touch to emphasize points (this is definitely the preferred option for dates- don’t sit across a table from someone). When you are facing one another, you still have a huge range of motion you can do with your hands.

      Check out Tony Robbins in this clip. Still tons of motion, a lot of it overhead though: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACIZKkvhEYQ

      As for eye contact, I would handle it the same way as I would standing. If you’re sitting next to someone, either angle your body towards them if you’re one on one, or if you’re in a group periodically turn your head to the various people to give them the “you’re included” eye contact.

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